Spiritual Warfare

Whoever sees this, please pray for me.  I have been undergoing some serious spiritual warfare lately.  Satan knows I'm going places, so he's throwing all he's got at me the way he does right before something big happens.  But I've been exhausted, completely drained of energy.  Last week my dog died. Oreo was my friend, yes he was a dog, but he's been with me longer than my little sister, he was family.
Then today, I brought my guitar to school to practice during lunch because I'm learning some of my favorite songs in Russian to help me with the language.  And one of my "friends" (notice the quotation marks) started yelling at me about playing it because it was a Christian song (it was Here I am to Worship, it's a beautiful song!) and then of course he starts making fun of the way I play.  He's more into power chords and harmonics, I do songs and melodies and chords.  Neither is a bad way to play, just different and he was making fun of the way I play.
And on top of it all, no matter how early I go to bed, I still feel utterly drained when I wake up.
So, just pray for me.  I know Satan's just being extra pig-headed right now because he knows that i will pull hundreds of thousands of souls out of his clutches and he hates me for it.  Papa Jesus has told me the work I shall do for him, and when it comes down to it, Satan is just like a little child throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants.
To everyone out there, remember that.  You have a purpose.  And every, single morning when you get out of bed, Satan face-palms and says, "Good grief! He (or She)'s up!"
Signing off :)  Love you all!!!

Languages and stuff

So, I'm starting to get annoyed with myself.  I love languages ad I keep trying to learn them.  But the problem is, I keep trying to learn 5 or 6 at the same time.  Ug!  Turns out, if you try to learn Khamer (pronounced kah-my), Chinese, Hindi, Spanish and Russian at the same time, your brain pretty much explodes and you forget EVERYTHING!!!! Ug, I keep having to start over.  So, since last summer I decided to try and focus on one at a time.  I've been working on Russian since then.  Only Russian.  But I am having a really hard time with it.  They have a completely different alphabet with completely different letters.  I finally learned it and can read Russian now, but I don't know what anything means.  So I went to memorizing a russian-english dictionary.  Thats going ok, and thankfully their sentence structure is pretty simple and verbs have pretty simple conjugations too.
Now heres the hard part.  They conjugate their Nouns!  I am having a terrible time with that.  Since we don't do that in english and it is terribly difficult for me to grasp.
Keep praying for me guys!!!  I will get it eventually... I hope.

I love this quote, it's written on the inside cover of my Bible, "I am a Christian.  You can ridicule me.  You can torture me.  You can even kill me. But you CANNOT change my mind!"  We, as Christians, know a love unlike any other.  When you meet a love like this, there is nothing that will make you give it up.
Anyhow, that is just something cool I wanted to share :)  So, I realized today that besides the fact that my life goal is to go to Russia, I realized that I haven't ever really posted anything about myself on here, and that surprised me because, well, I'm a very open person.  So, here goes.

Surface level:
I am presently 16 years old, my birthday is June 4th, I love fire, my favorite color is white, I have never liked soda, and my favorite animal is a cow (don't judge, cows are AMAZING!!!) :)
I am in FFA at school (future farmers of america) and am raising a purebred Satin rabbit for competition :)  Her name is Patience (that was the WRONG thing to name her!!!!!  She bit me once!!! My friends found that seriously funny -_-)

My best friend's name is Megan, this is her:

(Oh!  sorry, there's a lot of people in this picture.  She's the blond one, haha) :)

Deeper stuff:
I'm a Jesus freak and want everyone to know that.  Most people (in america anyhow) don't believe in 'Jesus things' you know, talking in tongues, angels and demons, spiritual warfare, miracles, ectera.  I do.    Why?  I've seen Jesus-things, and I won't go into the details at this time because then everyone will think I'm insane (You know, more than I actually am, haha).  I love adventure and will set the world on fire!!! (that's a metaphore.  No, I'm not actually going to go around setting stuff on fire)
So yeah, that's me :)  I'm that crazy person who's always dancing and singing and loving Jesus :)
JESUS IS GOING TO COME BACK FOR US AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!  COME FOR US PAPA!! Holy Spirit, you are welcome here!  Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere!  Your glory God is what our hearts long for, to be overcome with your presence here. Oh, holy spirit. (haha, luv that song) ;)

There CAN be Miracles

I've known I was going to be a missionary every since I was ten years old, when the lord told me I was to rescue child slaves in India and China (look at earlier post titled Dreams for the story behind that).  I never thought of going to Russia, It never even crossed my mind.  But a year and a half ago, when I was 15, I had another dream.  I saw a little boy sitting next to a half-boarded up widow with his hand pressed against the frosty glass.  He was  waiting for someone.  The Lord told me his name, Daniel, and told me to go to him.  He told me I would find him in Russia. Of course my first response to that is: "Sure lord, let me just get out my snowshoes and travel to the middle of nowhere and find this little boy who is somewhere in THE BIGGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!"  (haha, sarcasm was heavy there.  I wonder why Papa is still putting up with me?  I'm extremely dense.) :)
A couple weeks later, I had another dream.  I was walking through an airport, there were a ton of people and the airport looked new but was pretty small.   In the dream, I knew that I had just gotten off of a plane in Russia.  There was one person who stood out in the crowd.  She was short-ish with white hair, but her face didn't look any older than 40.  She was waiting for me.  I walked through the crowd and asked her, "Where am I supposed to go?"  She showed me a map, pointed to a certain place on it, and said, "Fifteen minutes north-west of Moscow."  Then, I woke up.
The next morning, I googled "Map of Moscow and surrounding area" the first one that popped up was the map I'd seen in my dream.  This one:

All of this was too specific for me to have just made up.  It's not a coincidence, it's a Jesus thing.  So, I set my sights on Russia.  I kept trying to figure out how to get there on my own, I even went so far as to obsess over it for a while until Papa got me to chill out by promising me that HE would get me to Russia in HIS time.
I figured I might as well go on another trip while waiting for Papa to work it out for me, so that summer I tried to go on a mission trip to Cambodia.  Last minute, everything fell through and I couldn't go.  That was really disappointing because I had truly had faith that Papa would work it out for me.  Since I didn't have anything to do that summer, I ended up getting a job and earning a good bit of money before I quit.
A couple months ago, I tried to sign up to go to a mission school in Mozambique.  I really, really, wanted to go.  But once again, it fell through last minute and I wasn't able to sign up in time.  That too was very disappointing, because I had had such faith that it would work out.  But I still trusted Papa, and believed that it would work out.  I even went so far as to say to my best friend when she tried to make me feel better about the whole mess, "It's okay.  If Mozambique didn't work out, It means Papa has another plan and I'm okay with waiting."
I'm not sure how I had that attitude about it, because I'm not naturally a patient person, haha, but I continued to have faith and a couple months ago, (okay, this part is confusing): My Nanna told my mom that someone from their church who they knew but my mom had never really spoken too had come back from a long trip in Russia.  He is a long term missionary there and had come back to California for some reason or another. My Nanna gave my mom his email address and she emailed him, (she didn't even know him remember).  He responded and they started talking back and forth and my mom asked if I could go back to Russia with them  when they went.
Long story short, I'm going to California for a bit to meet them and see if I'm compatible with him and his family (I'm a super friendly person, so here's hoping!) and if it works out, I'll be going to Russia with them.
Now, here the miracle.  MY MOM IS THE MOST OVER-PROTECTIVE PERSON I KNOW.  Of all the places in the world, Russia is number 1 on her list of Do-Not-Go-Here, the first time I told I wanted to be a missionary in Russia, she practically told me I was insane.  She's not only letting me go (with someone she barely knows) but is also helping me get there.
If I had been able to sign up for Mozambique, I would have been there the entire summer instead of Russia, where my heart lies.  If I had been able to go to Cambodia, I wouldn't have gotten a job and wouldn't have the money to go.  Because I had faith, and trusted in the lord, he totally put peace in my momma's heart so that she's not only letting me go, but is also figuring a lot of the larger aspects of the trip (passport and paperwork and stuff) out for me, and is even helping me pay for it!
I now truly know what it means to have faith to move a mountain.  FOR PAPA HAS MOVED MOUNTAINS FOR ME!!!!!!!! And I am going to Russia.

Family

What is Family???  The dictionary definition is:

1. a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

 

That is such a face-value, dumb ideal.  "parents and children living together in a household."  Okay, what about when the kids grow up and move away?  You see, the truth about family, that people who don't know the Lord can't understand, is that we are all family.  I know that sounds stupid, but think about it.  God loved us SO much that he died for us.  Would you give your life for someone you don't even know?  He created us, formed us, loves us, and died for us.  I'm not saying we are all related, I am saying we are all Family.  Are kids who are adopted, not part of their family?  No, they are family even though they are not of the same blood as their parents.  It is the same concept with Christ.  We are adopted into his family and he loves us.  That is why we need to support missionaries and children around the world.  Because they are our Family.

True Courage

What is Courage?  The dictionary says that courage and bravery are the same thing.  The dictionary is wrong.  Bravery is facing challenges head-on without thinking about it, bravery and stupidity are often the same thing.  Courage is doing the right thing even when it's hard.
Mother Tereza was courageous.  She saved lives, a lot of times she would be in the process of saving someone and they would spit in her face for no other reason than that she loved our Lord Jesus.  She had courage to keep doing what she did even though she probably really didn't want to.
My favorite preacher's name is Nick Vujicic, he was born without arms or legs.  He has courage because he travels around the world proclaiming the name of Jesus.  He has overcome not just the physical obsticals but also the challenges that come when people around you say "You can't".  He has courage because he has proved anyone who may have doubted him wrong.  And continued to spread the name of Jesus around the world.
I have courage because I am going as a long term missionary to Russia two summers from now, despite the fact that my peers do not support me in that decision.  Quite often my parents ask me about my plans for collage, even though I have already told them that I am not going.  I hear, "You can't survive in the real world without collage".  God himself has told me GO and who am I to say NO???  If God has told me to go, than he will protect me and provide for me.  I know who I am and where I'm going.  That's why I have courage, because I am willing to listen and obey God's voice even though everyone around me (save a few) tells me "You can't".  Or "It's not possible."
That is courage, everyone is capable of courage if they ignore their inner doubts and obey God's word for us with all our hearts.

Dreams

A lot of people think that the Lord doesn't speak to us.  I am hear to tell you otherwise.  I have heard the lord plenty of times, mostly through dreams.  Maybe because we are more receptive during sleep???  Anyhow, this is the dream I started having when I was almost ten... I had this dream for almost two years.

My Dream

When I was ten years old I had the same dream almost every night for two years. Finally, I figured out that Jesus was trying to tell me something. After I figured that out, the dreams stopped. This is the dream.

I stood on a mountain that was covered with pine trees. I saw many children running around. They were all different nationalities. The children ranged from the age of six to sixteen. Almost all of them were girls. Then, in the dream I saw one child who was different. She might have been twelve. Her eyes were cloudy with scars all around them. The dream zoomed in on her and the scene changed.

Now I was standing in a large cement room. There were many cages. There was a girl in every cage except one. As I watched, another girl was dragged into the room and tossed into the only empty cage. It looked as if someone had clawed her face. Blood dripped into her eyes but she didn’t seem to notice. She curled up in her cage, looking utterly hopeless.

I don’t know how but I knew that because she could no longer see, she was no use to the person who ‘owned’ her. I knew that he was going to rid of her (kill her).

All of the other children reached through their cages, trying to reach her to comfort her. When the girl (whose name was Xiwang which is Chinese for ‘hope’) was unresponsive, the other children tried something else. They all started singing. I knew that they were speaking a different language, but I could understand. This is what they said:

Amazing grace,

How sweet the sound

That saved a retch like me.

I once was lost,

But now I’m found,

Was blind but now I see.

Then another voice joined the children’s:

When we’ve been there ten thousand years;

Bright shining like the sun;

There’s no less days;

To sing God’s praise

Then when we’ve first begun.

The children looked shocked when the other person joined them singing. The person walked into the room. That was when I realized, the person who had just walked in was an older me (that was a little disturbing because I had the feeling that I was seeing my own future). Future Me picked the locks on all of the cages.

Every night the dream got more intense, I saw how they got away… Although I don’t remember much of those dreams. I also saw what had happened before that, those girls were child slaves.  People would pay to... Do stuff to them.  Sometimes, I heard the Lord’s voice telling me that I was meant to save them.

This is my dream, my future, my life.

Another Dream

I saw a small boy in an orphanage in Russia, his name is Daniel.  He was waiting for someone.  He would sit in the window and stare out, waiting for someone who would adopt him.  Many people would come to the orphanage looking for a child and time after time, they always looked right over him, as if he didn't even exist.  No one wanted him, he was different.  And he feared that he would never have a family, because he knew that no one wanted to adopt older kids.

The Lord told me that someday I would be the one to adopt him.  Whether that was literal or metaphorical, you decide.  But I do know that in a couple years I am moving to Russia to help the orphans there who have no hope left.  I am going to Russia to love the children who feel like no one will ever love them.  And then hopefully, a couple years after that I will travel to hostels in India, Nepal, and China to rescue child slaves.  The Lord speaks to us, maybe my dreams were metaphorical, maybe I will never meet either Daniel or Xiwang, maybe they are only symbols as to what my Lord Jesus will have me do, or maybe not.  Either way I am going.  I am going to make a difference by shining the light of the Lord where no light has ever reached.

This isn't just a cool story, it is a challenge   Listen for the Lord's voice and you will hear him.  We are all meant to make a difference, In a couple years, I am going to make a change in Russia, but I'm not going to wait to bloom until I'm transplanted.  I can make a difference right here, in Trophy Club Tx.  And I will.  WILL YOU? Wherever you are BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!!!